it hurts so bad..

everything seems to be falling apart even though we just started..

every week we fight..

matters never gets resolved...

maybe its just me..

i'm too much of a controlling tyrant bitch..

maybe that just the way i am..

we got together...

but nothings changed..

was it wrong for me to expect some changes?

u're not longer my fren,

but my boyfriend..

someone that i would plan a future with..

but somehow..

the future looks bleak and full of hurt and heartache..

is it wrong?

when u were my fren i knew i had nothing over u..

why wld u listen to me?

now isnt it different?

i know u try...

but...

i dunno..

feels hopeless...

is this a sign of how different we are..

how its gonna be realyl difficult for things to work..

i'm scared...

we just started and i dont want it to end..

but things seem to be proving very tough...

i said before..

we're obviously not having our "honeymoon period"

i'll try...

try to change myself

change the way i think and my expectations of a relationship..

but it kills me a little bit everytime i try...

like i'm gonna lose a bit of myself everytime...

hurt myself a bit everytime..

but for u i'll try..

i hope u're worth it..

i dont want to lose myself totally for nothing...

i hope u'd still love me as much when i've change...

cus the only way i think i can change to what u want...

is to just care less...

turn a blind eye to many things..

keep my opinioins to myself...

i'd be quieter..

hopefully i wont be a recluse after this..

i'm going to try...

but its sure gonna hurt every time...

it hurts so much now...

i've cried so much...

why is our relationship like that?

when will things start looking brighter?

hopefully soon..

before i kill myself trying...

it hurts..

so fucking bad...